The marriage market

"Marriages are made in heaven, but we have to live through it on earth."
                                                                                                   -Neha K Kulkarni

We all grow up with this wonderful idea of getting married. All girls dream of their ideal wedding even before they totally understand what it is all about. But as we grow up our ideas change and with them our expectations as well. What was initially a fairy tale now becomes the ugly truth. Unlike the fairly tale, there isn't a prince charming who would come riding on a white horse and sweep you away and you'll live happily ever after!

So why does it all change? As kids we are told time and again to be nice individuals. To love and respect other and so on. But the real world isn't as rosy as it’s portrayed. Relationships are calculative. You have money...great! You don't have money...too bad. You give me space...we are compatible. You don't give me space...we need a break. The list is endless. Sometimes I wonder, what happened to unconditional love? Is it just an illusion or does it still exist in this oh-so practical world?

For all those dating their love for years, if all turns out well then you are ready to walk down the aisle. What about all those who aren’t dating anyone? Well, for all those you have no choice but to enter the “Marriage Market!” Now you would ask me, why market? Well, the answer lies ahead.

Arrange marriages are a different ball game altogether. If you are single and looking for match the process can really tire you down. You are judge on how you look, how tall you are, whether you are plumb or an envious size zero. It doesn’t end there. Next on the list are your earnings or how much would you inherit and so on. It’s only if you pass these stages would people want to know the real you but that's pretty much at the end of the must-have list. It’s like buying a product. You see a great product and then you splurge. Pretty OK product, you think about it maybe even bargain and then buy it. But when there is a not-so-good one, you simply walk off. 

People start off with this huge list of 'what I want in my partner' Can you really find a life partner with the help of a checklist? Like really? If you have so many haves and have nots, then I guess all that would remain is the image of your perfect partner that too just in your head.

The worst enemies here are all those who cannot see you ‘being single’. Their sole aim is to make marriage happen. How and to whom, is of little importance.  They have an ‘ideal marriage age’ set and if you aren’t married by then, all hell breaks loose! All kinds of doubts creep in. ‘Is something wrong with him/her?’ ‘Isn’t he/she not good enough?’ ‘Poor you! You haven’t found the right partner yet?’ ‘Hang in there, you definitely find somebody to marry!’ Why do people assume that you are unhappy or lonely if you are single? The person could be perfectly happy and ready to wait till he/she finds the suitable person to tie the knot. 

If you end up finding a good match then it’s all about how does he/she look? Is he/she rich? What kind of car does he own? Where does he stay and so on... Do we forget that it’s not just about what he/she own but about the kind of person you would want to live with for the rest of your life. Somehow the genuinity of the person is lost and only No wonder there is rise in unhappy marriages.

I feel it’s easier to go buy expensive items from a mall, than to find a match. All those who are in a relationship or have married their love are simply luck to have not been part of this traumatic process. 

My advice to all the single people out there, go find your partner and if you can’t,then good luck as you enter the ‘marriage market’. May you come out victorious! 

 

ROBOTS...Are we?

"We are so caught up with in our routine that we don't realize, we are not living but merely existing."

There is always a point in our life where all the challenges come to a temporarily halt.Where every morning you get up and wish for a new challenge put up for you but instead you are greeted with the same daily chores and the work to do lists.

We are all one in many who are doing the same old stuff without it really contributing to who we are. Slogging so that your venture makes more money. Putting in extra time at work so that your bosses promote you. Studying till your eyes hurt to that you get good a score. Phew! The list is never ending! And so are our efforts...

But are we ever satisfied? NEVER! I need more of this and I need more of that and the list goes on and on. What about all that you already have as a result of your hard work? When do you enjoy that? I come across a lot of people who say," Once I'm successful and earn a lot of money, only then will I do something for myself." Well, how do you know that your going to be alive that long? Are we so money and success driven that we are ready to live like robots? It's like we are programmed to do certain things and the minute we go out of the set sequence our life goes for a toss. A friend once told me something which is actually really simple to understand but extremely difficult to follow. More so as we are a money-driven lot.

"Having an ambition is great! But getting too involved in it to an extent that you actually forget your goal will never make you happy. You have been so driven by the idea of making money that you have been chasing the wrong thing all this while. Don't run behind money. Work on what makes you happy and the money will eventually follow."

This is a slow process especially for all those who want to make it big and that too really fast. Ask yourself one thing, will you really make it big if you run behind the wrong thing? Don't get me wrong, I am not against people who want to be successful. Believe me I am one of them. But when I look back at the fast few years, I've realized that I had been running behind the wrong thing all this while. And have I made it BIG? NOPE! I'm not even close to it! Do you want to know why? It's simple, I have been existing in this world all this while not really living my life.

It's time to live life and it's never to late to begin!