The marriage market

"Marriages are made in heaven, but we have to live through it on earth."
                                                                                                   -Neha K Kulkarni

We all grow up with this wonderful idea of getting married. All girls dream of their ideal wedding even before they totally understand what it is all about. But as we grow up our ideas change and with them our expectations as well. What was initially a fairy tale now becomes the ugly truth. Unlike the fairly tale, there isn't a prince charming who would come riding on a white horse and sweep you away and you'll live happily ever after!

So why does it all change? As kids we are told time and again to be nice individuals. To love and respect other and so on. But the real world isn't as rosy as it’s portrayed. Relationships are calculative. You have money...great! You don't have money...too bad. You give me space...we are compatible. You don't give me space...we need a break. The list is endless. Sometimes I wonder, what happened to unconditional love? Is it just an illusion or does it still exist in this oh-so practical world?

For all those dating their love for years, if all turns out well then you are ready to walk down the aisle. What about all those who aren’t dating anyone? Well, for all those you have no choice but to enter the “Marriage Market!” Now you would ask me, why market? Well, the answer lies ahead.

Arrange marriages are a different ball game altogether. If you are single and looking for match the process can really tire you down. You are judge on how you look, how tall you are, whether you are plumb or an envious size zero. It doesn’t end there. Next on the list are your earnings or how much would you inherit and so on. It’s only if you pass these stages would people want to know the real you but that's pretty much at the end of the must-have list. It’s like buying a product. You see a great product and then you splurge. Pretty OK product, you think about it maybe even bargain and then buy it. But when there is a not-so-good one, you simply walk off. 

People start off with this huge list of 'what I want in my partner' Can you really find a life partner with the help of a checklist? Like really? If you have so many haves and have nots, then I guess all that would remain is the image of your perfect partner that too just in your head.

The worst enemies here are all those who cannot see you ‘being single’. Their sole aim is to make marriage happen. How and to whom, is of little importance.  They have an ‘ideal marriage age’ set and if you aren’t married by then, all hell breaks loose! All kinds of doubts creep in. ‘Is something wrong with him/her?’ ‘Isn’t he/she not good enough?’ ‘Poor you! You haven’t found the right partner yet?’ ‘Hang in there, you definitely find somebody to marry!’ Why do people assume that you are unhappy or lonely if you are single? The person could be perfectly happy and ready to wait till he/she finds the suitable person to tie the knot. 

If you end up finding a good match then it’s all about how does he/she look? Is he/she rich? What kind of car does he own? Where does he stay and so on... Do we forget that it’s not just about what he/she own but about the kind of person you would want to live with for the rest of your life. Somehow the genuinity of the person is lost and only No wonder there is rise in unhappy marriages.

I feel it’s easier to go buy expensive items from a mall, than to find a match. All those who are in a relationship or have married their love are simply luck to have not been part of this traumatic process. 

My advice to all the single people out there, go find your partner and if you can’t,then good luck as you enter the ‘marriage market’. May you come out victorious! 

 

Will our grandchildren known what a tree is?

"Because we don't think about future generations, they will never forget us."

                                                                                                         - Henrik Tikkanen

Today is World Environment Day. There are numerous activities that are carried out all over the world for environment awareness and protection. Some of us actively take part while the rest of us read about it in the morning newspaper over a cup of hot tea. We criticize everyone from the government to the city we reside in and our neighbours as well. Once we are done with sipping our tea. We close the newspaper and proceed towards the activities of the day.

Every year on June 5^th we vow to do our bit towards the environment and the vow is lost as soon as the day ends. Is it really so difficult to look after the environment we live in? Do you know that we can actually do our bit towards the environment if we make certain small changes in our living?

We don’t really need a day for this, but for all those who need an initial push then this is the best day to begin with.

Recently I attended a press conference for a cycle rally that was held in the city. One of the panel members, who also happen to be a doctor had an interesting advice to give.  He said, “Just for the time being stop thinking about things around and concentrate on your health. Take up cycling so that you lead a fitter lifestyle. Only when you are fit, can you focus on the betterment of the environment. If you take up cycling for health benefits you are indirectly working towards the betterment of the environment by reducing the usage of fuel driven vehicles.” 

I would suggest take to walking or cycling to short distances and if you must use a vehicle, opt for carpool if you are going to the same place as your colleague or friends and family. You’ll not only save fuel but also help reduce the pollution around.

Water is the one of the most important element but is used too generously. Use it wisely or else there would be a day when it would be scarce and we would have to at the price of gold.

Similarly, garbage disposal is a big problem. Start by segregating the wet from the dry. The wet can be decomposed in your backyard and reused as manure. It’s like dual benefit; you are sorting the garbage disposal problem as well as doing your bit to retain greenery around.

With the advancement in technology, we all have too many gadgets around. No! I’m not asking you to stop using them. But yes! Use them wisely. Simple things like conserving energy and using the gadgets only when required is something we all can do. Look at the environment around as you own home. Would you do anything which would harm you or the people residing with you? Why is environment different? It’s your home and if you don’t look after it, when how will?

There are innumerable NGO and organization who are striving to pass on the message of environment conservation, but it still seems to fall on deaf ears. Maybe people still haven’t realized the gravity of the problem and before we know it’ll all be gone! I hope we don’t see a day when our grandchildren would ask us, “What’s a tree grandma?” and all you can do then is close your eyes and think about your younger years when you could see these green beauties around.

Just the thought is quite terrible, right? It isn’t too late; pull up your socks and this World Environment Day vow to do your bit. Let it not die as the day ends.

If you’re wondering where to begin from, it's simple begin from home!