Opposites attract!

He said, “People like you make this world human.”

They say opposites attract. But we still look for people who are just like us. Why are we looking for clones when being with someone totally opposite of us could be so much better?

I have this really close friend. We are just like chalk and cheese. Even today, the reason behind our friendship is a mystery. How could two people so different from each other become friends? I thought the rule of opposites attract was applicable only in love. We always look for friends who are just like us. Rather I always looked for friends who were pretty similar to me. They had similar interests and pretty much the same outlook towards life. 

How did I come across this friend? I don't really know.

The funny part here is even if we have similar interest, we have different liking. Confused? Let me explain. We both love to reach but the kind of genre is totally opposite. We are foodies but the kind of cuisine we enjoy is different. Yet when we are together, time flies at the fastest pace. There isn't a dull moment. 

The biggest difference is I'm emotional while he isn't. So you can't really turn to him when you're low or upset just like you would to your girlfriends. Surprisingly, I do end up turning to him and you know why? Because he gets right to the point so that I snap out of my issues and I'm back to normal. Sometimes I feel that it's really rude and mean but eventually I do agree that something we do need someone to jolt us back to reality so that we don't end up getting deeper in the emotional mess. 

The other day we got talking and suddenly he chucked. Yes you guessed it right. I was annoyed. How could he just chuckle when I'm talking about something important? I wasn't narrating a comic story. He said, "Its your innocence that made me chuckle. There are very few people who are like you. I hope you do not change." I said, "We need to have people like me, because the world is filled with people like you. We need a balance." 

For me it is easy to be caring, understanding and considerate because that's how I am. That's what people who know me identify with. I do know any other way. But for people like him, its tough to be like me because emotions lead to pain and getting over pain is really difficult. In my opinion only two types of people would think so. Either someone who has been emotionally scarred or someone who wants to save himself from the emotional trauma. He finds it difficult to be like me because that's too much hard work. For me it's difficult to be like him because that's hard work for me. I can't be calculative and emotionally detached when it comes to relationships. Relationships are toughest to maintain but at the same time they are one of the most beautiful chapters of our life. If it weren't for them our life would be a boring, robotic existence. Depressing!!!

Having said that, I feel the main reason that we are friends is because we compliment each other. There is never a dull moment because there is something new to experience every time  Our views on issues are different. The way we tackle issues is different. The way we look at life is different. Everything is just so different. For me it kind of makes me think about life from a different view points. And sometimes his way is the better way.

Humans are really stubborn. We always feel our way is the best way, but sometimes its best to take up a different approach in life. You would be surprised at what you would discover. Maybe a side of you that you weren't really aware off. Wouldn't that be great? It sure is for me.

Yes! Opposites do attract because we need a balance between the people we are associated it. Wouldn't the world be a mess with just too many practical people or just too many emotional ones?  After all who would want to be with a clone, right? Someone who would do what you do and say what you say! That would be a dull, boring existence.

Just the thought worries me.

Even though people like me are few, they help balance out people like him. 

Monsoon hues

 Monsoons come and monsoons go, but my heart always waits for that magical glow!

                                                                                                           - Neha K Kulkarni

It’s the pitter-patter of raindrops that lift my spirits.  Every year there are millions around who dread the monsoons but then again there are also those who eagerly wait for them as well. I, obviously fall in the latter category.

For me, monsoon is a new beginning. Its God’s way of telling us that with these rain I wash thy worries, fears and ill feelings. Its also his way of giving us another chance to embrace life with a pure heart and with new vigour. I would call it a time for rejuvenation. Learn, refresh and move on to a brighter future.

Come monsoons and you get to see all different colours around. The green becomes greener and the brown becomes darker. The river gushes with the rainwater and the air smells of fresh mud. Aha! BLISS!! 

I follow a ritual. Every year during the first rain, I rush out to my garden and break into a random jig. The feel of the soft wet grass underneath my bare feet and the rain drops that hit my face is a strong reminder of how lucky I am. A world where innocent people die everyday for not fault of theirs. It is during such moments that I believe that life indeed could never be better! 

Either early morning or late evening is the best time to go for a walk or a jog. The light breeze that passes through your hair and the pretty blooms amidst the lush green expanse is simply mesmerizing. Even if you are the anti-workout one, I would suggest that at least once try going out during these times. Before you would question yourself as to why didnt you think of it before? Make way to the fitness enthusiast! 

Nostalgia! Remember how you would make paper boats and see them float is small mud pools? Or splash around in those tiny puddles? How simple was life back then right?

On the other hand, I do agree that rains lead to a lot of inconvenience as well. The roads are jammed; electricity is shut down and so on. During heavy rains it’s as if our life comes to a standstill.But as they say, all good things come with a price tag. To enjoy the rains you have to put up with the after effects of the same. A little bit of good and little bit of bad and that’s what life’s all about, right?

The shades of monsoon are just endless; each monsoon brings in more for me. With each rain, all the negativity is washed off and finally all that remains in beauty, peace and happiness.  

 

Look! It’s raining! I’m off to dance in the rain; is anyone going to join me?

The marriage market

"Marriages are made in heaven, but we have to live through it on earth."
                                                                                                   -Neha K Kulkarni

We all grow up with this wonderful idea of getting married. All girls dream of their ideal wedding even before they totally understand what it is all about. But as we grow up our ideas change and with them our expectations as well. What was initially a fairy tale now becomes the ugly truth. Unlike the fairly tale, there isn't a prince charming who would come riding on a white horse and sweep you away and you'll live happily ever after!

So why does it all change? As kids we are told time and again to be nice individuals. To love and respect other and so on. But the real world isn't as rosy as it’s portrayed. Relationships are calculative. You have money...great! You don't have money...too bad. You give me space...we are compatible. You don't give me space...we need a break. The list is endless. Sometimes I wonder, what happened to unconditional love? Is it just an illusion or does it still exist in this oh-so practical world?

For all those dating their love for years, if all turns out well then you are ready to walk down the aisle. What about all those who aren’t dating anyone? Well, for all those you have no choice but to enter the “Marriage Market!” Now you would ask me, why market? Well, the answer lies ahead.

Arrange marriages are a different ball game altogether. If you are single and looking for match the process can really tire you down. You are judge on how you look, how tall you are, whether you are plumb or an envious size zero. It doesn’t end there. Next on the list are your earnings or how much would you inherit and so on. It’s only if you pass these stages would people want to know the real you but that's pretty much at the end of the must-have list. It’s like buying a product. You see a great product and then you splurge. Pretty OK product, you think about it maybe even bargain and then buy it. But when there is a not-so-good one, you simply walk off. 

People start off with this huge list of 'what I want in my partner' Can you really find a life partner with the help of a checklist? Like really? If you have so many haves and have nots, then I guess all that would remain is the image of your perfect partner that too just in your head.

The worst enemies here are all those who cannot see you ‘being single’. Their sole aim is to make marriage happen. How and to whom, is of little importance.  They have an ‘ideal marriage age’ set and if you aren’t married by then, all hell breaks loose! All kinds of doubts creep in. ‘Is something wrong with him/her?’ ‘Isn’t he/she not good enough?’ ‘Poor you! You haven’t found the right partner yet?’ ‘Hang in there, you definitely find somebody to marry!’ Why do people assume that you are unhappy or lonely if you are single? The person could be perfectly happy and ready to wait till he/she finds the suitable person to tie the knot. 

If you end up finding a good match then it’s all about how does he/she look? Is he/she rich? What kind of car does he own? Where does he stay and so on... Do we forget that it’s not just about what he/she own but about the kind of person you would want to live with for the rest of your life. Somehow the genuinity of the person is lost and only No wonder there is rise in unhappy marriages.

I feel it’s easier to go buy expensive items from a mall, than to find a match. All those who are in a relationship or have married their love are simply luck to have not been part of this traumatic process. 

My advice to all the single people out there, go find your partner and if you can’t,then good luck as you enter the ‘marriage market’. May you come out victorious! 

 

Will our grandchildren known what a tree is?

"Because we don't think about future generations, they will never forget us."

                                                                                                         - Henrik Tikkanen

Today is World Environment Day. There are numerous activities that are carried out all over the world for environment awareness and protection. Some of us actively take part while the rest of us read about it in the morning newspaper over a cup of hot tea. We criticize everyone from the government to the city we reside in and our neighbours as well. Once we are done with sipping our tea. We close the newspaper and proceed towards the activities of the day.

Every year on June 5^th we vow to do our bit towards the environment and the vow is lost as soon as the day ends. Is it really so difficult to look after the environment we live in? Do you know that we can actually do our bit towards the environment if we make certain small changes in our living?

We don’t really need a day for this, but for all those who need an initial push then this is the best day to begin with.

Recently I attended a press conference for a cycle rally that was held in the city. One of the panel members, who also happen to be a doctor had an interesting advice to give.  He said, “Just for the time being stop thinking about things around and concentrate on your health. Take up cycling so that you lead a fitter lifestyle. Only when you are fit, can you focus on the betterment of the environment. If you take up cycling for health benefits you are indirectly working towards the betterment of the environment by reducing the usage of fuel driven vehicles.” 

I would suggest take to walking or cycling to short distances and if you must use a vehicle, opt for carpool if you are going to the same place as your colleague or friends and family. You’ll not only save fuel but also help reduce the pollution around.

Water is the one of the most important element but is used too generously. Use it wisely or else there would be a day when it would be scarce and we would have to at the price of gold.

Similarly, garbage disposal is a big problem. Start by segregating the wet from the dry. The wet can be decomposed in your backyard and reused as manure. It’s like dual benefit; you are sorting the garbage disposal problem as well as doing your bit to retain greenery around.

With the advancement in technology, we all have too many gadgets around. No! I’m not asking you to stop using them. But yes! Use them wisely. Simple things like conserving energy and using the gadgets only when required is something we all can do. Look at the environment around as you own home. Would you do anything which would harm you or the people residing with you? Why is environment different? It’s your home and if you don’t look after it, when how will?

There are innumerable NGO and organization who are striving to pass on the message of environment conservation, but it still seems to fall on deaf ears. Maybe people still haven’t realized the gravity of the problem and before we know it’ll all be gone! I hope we don’t see a day when our grandchildren would ask us, “What’s a tree grandma?” and all you can do then is close your eyes and think about your younger years when you could see these green beauties around.

Just the thought is quite terrible, right? It isn’t too late; pull up your socks and this World Environment Day vow to do your bit. Let it not die as the day ends.

If you’re wondering where to begin from, it's simple begin from home!

ROBOTS...Are we?

"We are so caught up with in our routine that we don't realize, we are not living but merely existing."

There is always a point in our life where all the challenges come to a temporarily halt.Where every morning you get up and wish for a new challenge put up for you but instead you are greeted with the same daily chores and the work to do lists.

We are all one in many who are doing the same old stuff without it really contributing to who we are. Slogging so that your venture makes more money. Putting in extra time at work so that your bosses promote you. Studying till your eyes hurt to that you get good a score. Phew! The list is never ending! And so are our efforts...

But are we ever satisfied? NEVER! I need more of this and I need more of that and the list goes on and on. What about all that you already have as a result of your hard work? When do you enjoy that? I come across a lot of people who say," Once I'm successful and earn a lot of money, only then will I do something for myself." Well, how do you know that your going to be alive that long? Are we so money and success driven that we are ready to live like robots? It's like we are programmed to do certain things and the minute we go out of the set sequence our life goes for a toss. A friend once told me something which is actually really simple to understand but extremely difficult to follow. More so as we are a money-driven lot.

"Having an ambition is great! But getting too involved in it to an extent that you actually forget your goal will never make you happy. You have been so driven by the idea of making money that you have been chasing the wrong thing all this while. Don't run behind money. Work on what makes you happy and the money will eventually follow."

This is a slow process especially for all those who want to make it big and that too really fast. Ask yourself one thing, will you really make it big if you run behind the wrong thing? Don't get me wrong, I am not against people who want to be successful. Believe me I am one of them. But when I look back at the fast few years, I've realized that I had been running behind the wrong thing all this while. And have I made it BIG? NOPE! I'm not even close to it! Do you want to know why? It's simple, I have been existing in this world all this while not really living my life.

It's time to live life and it's never to late to begin!

From pieces to peace!

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves."

                                                                                        - Henry David Thoreau

Have you ever felt suffocated that you just wanted to break free? No matter how much you tried, you just couldn’t sort out your life. With this baggage, I went to the land of Lamas and rediscovered myself. This is my story and maybe yours too.       

“Why do you want to run away?” Anjani asked me with a concerned look. I took one look at her and burst into tears. She didn’t budge but looked at me as I wept like a child.....

My life was a mess and just to get some answers I decided to visit a Tarot reader. I was initially hesitant as I did not want a complete stranger to know about my life but I was so desperate for help that I went along. Apparently the cards that I picked during my reading indicated that I was really frustrated with my life and that I just wanted to run away. It also indicated that I was desperate to change my life but I did not know where to begin. Anjani told me the first thing that I had to do was to pack my bag and go on a vacation all by myself. No family. No friends. Just me... a journey to re-discover myself. I felt better with her pep talk but as I was on my way back home the doubts started creeping in. As if Anjani could sense it she wrote to me over the next few days convincing me to take a break and just out of the blue I decided to go to Ladakh. 

I used to always joke with my mother and tell her, “I need to go stay in the Himalayas, I think then I’d have time to think and sort my life” I never thought I’d do exactly that and it would turn out to be one of the best decisions of my life.

TAKING THE PLUNGE

I have never travelled alone so it came as a surprise to my parents that I wanted to be on my own this time. It amazed me how desperate I was to get my life into perspective. I decided to go through a company named Foliage Outdoors where my brother-in-law is one of the partners. Other than the company representative who was traveling with me, I did not know anyone but I was all set to travel with a bunch of strangers who eventually turned out to be good company. The whole trip was planned in a week and I was off to the land of lamas – Ladakh.  I landed in New Delhi and we all set off to Manali. We spent the next two days in Manali and somehow it just didn’t sink in that I was finally on my own. Every time a negative though crossed my mind I would push it out of my mind. The day we left for Ladakh I was excited but nervous at the same time. Was this the moment I was waiting for? Was my life really going to change? I was looking for answers but I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the truth.

MESMERIZING BEAUTY

The first time I set my eyes on the snow clad mountains I was dumb-struck by its beauty. I don’t know why but it felt as if they were calling me. I still get goose-bumps when I think of it.  It was like I was in trance and suddenly all the doubts started fading out. If you look at it, there is nothing but barren land and snow clad mountains but one cannot get enough of it. This is one place which proves the fact that nature is so powerful and human even with their knowledge and advancement can never compete with the powers of nature. Everyone there is at the mercy of Mother Nature. It took us close to two days to reach Leh and we were exposed to sudden weather changes during this. The whole journey was a combination of scorching heat and sudden snowfall. I believe it was God’s way of telling me that life is a combination of good and bad. Neither phase last for a long time. After the snow the heat is a nice change but too much heat leaves us craving for the cold. Similarly, the bad experiences teach us a lot and that’s how we value the good times......and just like that I learnt an important lesson.

INSIGHTFUL EXPERIENCE

We crossed the borders and entered Jammu and Kashmir. I think I left all my worries back in Himachal Pradesh because all of a sudden I felt lighter. I couldn’t get any network on my cell phone and I guess that was a blessing in disguise. I’m a techno-freak and not being able to get in touch with people makes me feel disabled. Somehow it didn't matter anymore. I was already on my soul searching journey and no one could stop me. I spoke to my mother just twice during those ten days just to let her know I was fine.  The monasteries were beautiful and they had an aura to them. I could just go there and look at the city for hours together and not get enough of it. 

The cold desert of Nubra Valley is best place if you want to have a conversation with yourself. The silence there was so blissful that I sat there in the middle of the desert and wasn’t bored. We found the double humped camels here. I took a ride on these camels just so I would be there in the desert and all I could hear was the whistling of the wind and the tinkling of the bells that were tied around the camel’s neck. It’s difficult to explain but it had a soothing effect which just calmed my senses. Emotions like hate, frustration, nervousness and anger became a distant memory. They were replaced by love, faith, peace and the wish to live life to the fullest and take chances just to follow my dreams. My visit to the Pangong Tso was wonderful. The vastness of the lake is striking. There were so many people there and it was like a fish market – quite noisy, but I somehow couldn’t hear them beyond a certain point. I was so deep in thoughts that I just sat there at the bank listening to the water and foreseeing my life here on. The whole self exploring journey ended with river rafting in the Indus and Zanskar River. I asked myself, why was I so scared to take chances in life? It’s only after I take chances would I know whether things are going to work or not. As I was deep in thought and enjoying the ride, the rafting guide asked whether anyone wanted to jump in the river. No one around me wanted to. I just put my oars aside and jumped in. The water was icy cold and I couldn’t breathe for a moment but before I knew it I was fine. I repeated the same thing when we crossed over and into river Zanskar. You see even though initially I was breathless I was fine in an instance. So why was I so scared? 

BREAKING FREE.....FINALLY!!

That’s when is realised that I wasn’t scared anymore and that I was all set to take a step and transform my life. I couldn’t wait to get back to Pune and embrace my new life. You see, Mother Nature in her own way made me realize the reason why I was so scared. I’m 26 year old, infact I turn 27 in February. I've worked as a Human Resources executive and somewhere deep down I knew this was not what I was cut out for. But I was scared of starting my career from scratch and that added to my frustration. I could see everyone around me moving ahead and I was just stuck. I’ve always wanted to be a writer but somehow the dream was lost and I was stuck in the rat race like any other management graduate.

People of Leh taught me a big lesson of restarting life from scratch. After the cloud burst last year when the city was washed out, everyone stood up and put all the pieces together and started their life all over again and here is was fussing over few wrong decisions of my life.  It’s not too late and now here I am enjoying my job and embracing each day with open arms.

A heartfelt thank you to my Tarot reader Anjani Shah and salute to Mother Nature for being the best teacher........EVER!

Scattered Pieces!

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together."

Have you been through an instance where a loved one said certain heart piercing statements? Something so bad that it literally broke your heart and you could never quite put the pieces back? In today's time, where relationship break at the blink of an eye, it comes as no surprise to me that 99% of people that I've met have borne the brunt of broken relationships. Be it with their boyfriends or girlfriends or even with their friends or loved ones, we all are living with the painful baggage of our past. 


So what do we do about it? Why is it that long after the relationship is over we still seem to be carrying the memories around? When people say I'm over the past, do they really mean it? Do we really forget the past and move ahead? People say time is the best healer. Is it really? I don't think so. The truth is we can never forget the painful instances in life. As time passes we just learn to live life with them and eventually these events become such inseparable parts of our life that they do not hurt as much as they used to before.  Unfortunately our subconscious doesn't let go of it and we are time and again reminded of the past for the pain it put us through or the important lessons it taught us. It's up to us how we would want to remember them.


When bad things happen we all say that it happens for a reason and for the best. I'm sure it happens for a reason but not quite sure whether it happens for the best. Broken relationship can have damaging effects on one's mind. When you love someone unconditionally and the same person hurts you, how then do you handle it? People sometimes try to sort out the issues and continue with the relationship. Each time you patch up after a fight a part of the relationship is lost till the time there is nothing left of it. Millions of people still carry on with such relationships because they don't seem to be able to part with their loved ones. The best advice here would be to end it and move on. But its easier said than done. 


Why is it that relationship break? One reason could be lack of compatibility, but is it the only? I don't think so. I feel people are becoming really self centered of late. It's always 'me' and not 'we' No wonder the break up rate is high. If there is no 'we' or 'us' how is the relationship going to grow? One needs to devote time and nurture the relationship for it to grow.  Will an ignored seed ever flourish into a full grown beautiful tree full of flowers and fruits? The beautiful trees are now taken over by thorns.


You know,there is a lot that can be done to save those special relationship. Proper and timely communications is one of them. No one is a mind reader here. Speak out and convey your thoughts, feels, views, like and dislikes to the people around.All this while keeping in mind the feelings of the people around. Have a clear and transparent conversation. Respect others opinions. If you've had an argument and have sorted it out, do not keep bringing it up time after time as it'll only add to the bitterness. If sometime bothers you, speak about it. Bottling up anger is the biggest enemy of any relationship as when it busts all you have are 'scattered pieces', something that you can never put together again.


Sometimes we do not realize how lucky we are to have certain people in our life. When we have them around we do not value them. It's only when we lose them do we realize what we've lost. A lot of times we tend to love only those people who hurt us and hurt those people who love us. It's ok to have people who do not love or care about you because you can never lose something that you never had, and you never had these people in your life in the first place so why cry over the loss and shun the existing lovely people from our lives? 


So pull up your socks. Embrace the special people in your life. Think before you take drastic steps. Do not cry over people who do not matter. It's time you have some clear glasses in your life so that the "scattered pieces"  from the past don't prick too much!